Time Warped
by GoddessVixen
Summary: what would happen if Buffy and the Scoobies meet the crew members of Voyager
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: We don't own Star Trek, Paramount does. We don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer either, 20th Century Fox does. Boo hoo  
  
  
  
Time Warped  
  
Written by Goddessvixen/Doec  
  
(Scene opens to Buffy and the Scoobies hanging out in Giles' living room. It is just after Buffy has gets back from patrol. Apparently it wasn't an end-of-the-world night.)  
  
Buffy: I was out in the woods and I met a new kind of a demon or something.  
  
Giles: what did it look like?  
  
Buffy: It was kind of a "Swamp Thing" look to it.  
  
Giles: Could you possible be any more vague, if you tried?  
  
Buffy: It was having a way bad hair day, twigs all over it's head and sea weed looking stuff on it's body.  
  
Willow: So we're bookin' it tonight? I just learned a new spell in my Wiccan group on how to make cocoa. It is supposed to be really good. I'll even make a cup for Spikey-poo.  
  
Spike: I feel bloody special, I feel all smooshy inside. Can I be an honorary Scooby tonight?  
  
Giles: No you can't Spike. And Willow, try your spell; you have been getting a better handle on your magick.  
  
Willow: Thanks Giles  
  
Giles: Oh Willow, don't turn us into dogs or something.  
  
(Willow raspberries Giles and walks over to the stove to make the cocoa)  
  
Xander: I'll start the round robin with the parents.  
  
Spike: You bloody idiot. You're 18 years old! Be a man and the cut the apron strings!  
  
Willow: (from the kitchen) Spike, be nice. Or you don't get any cocoa.  
  
Spike: (whines) But he started it! Why don't I get any cocoa?  
  
Willow: All right, if you're nice and quiet I'll let you have some.  
  
Spike: (sulks) Oh, all right. Could you put blood in it?  
  
All: NO!  
  
Willow: Well, maybe if you're good, but don't expect a lot.  
  
Xander: Willow, you're disgusting!  
  
Willow: (cheerful ditzy voice) Well, he's a vampire, you don't want him dying on us, do you? (Nobody says anything)  
  
Spike: Hey!  
  
Buffy: Kidding, just kidding. Of course we wouldn't want you to die.  
  
Willow: He said I was sexy once! So he gets his bloody cocoa. (Flings things into the pan, doing an incantation) Rosemary and thyme, make this cocoa of mine, at the speed of light! Mote it be.  
  
Oz: Is it just me, or are the rest of you getting a bit nervous?  
  
Giles: (flipping through a book of demons) I could care less, she can't hurt much with cocoa. (She comes out triumphant with a tray of mugs of cocoa, she serves it up, pours a dash of blood into Spikes but she forgets herself and pours it in everybody's. Thankfully, no one notices. They all chug down half in one gulp with approving looks on their faces) Thank you, Willow, this actually looks like it turned out. Okay, let's go, everyone—(and they all vanish)  
  
  
  
(Next scene is the Bridge of the Starship Voyager, everyone is at their usual stations when 6 people appear out of nowhere. The Scooby gang looks around, completely baffled, but the Starfleet crew just sighs, looks up and looks disgusted)  
  
Voyager crew: Q?!?!  
  
Q2: (appears) Trust me, it wasn't Dad, or me. Later! (Snaps and he goes away again)  
  
Janeway: Excuse me, but who are you people?  
  
Willow: (the first to find her voice) Um, that was my bad, sorry. I have no idea what just happened but I guess I got the spell wrong.  
  
Giles: (gaping at his surroundings, with much more advanced technology and so forth, mutters to himself) Talk about doing the Time Warp.  
  
Xander: (to Spike) You had to make her put blood in, didn't you. Nice going, puppy.  
  
Janeway: (tries again) Would you mind telling me where you come from?  
  
Buffy: What do you mean? Who's that kid that just disappeared? Where are we???  
  
Janeway: I see this is going to be complicated for both of us to explain.  
  
Giles: Well, madam, we're from Sunnydale California—(this grabs everyone's attention, especially Ensign Kim's)  
  
Kim: Earth?! You're from Earth?!  
  
Xander: Last time I checked.  
  
Kim: Captain, can you believe this??  
  
Janeway: Calm down, Ensign. Now, how did you get here? Have you found a way to get us home?  
  
Spike: Did we do what with who? Look, lady, you're none of my concern. If you got yourself lost without a map then that's your problem. Where the hell are we?  
  
Paris: From the sounds of it, you'll have to add a "when" to that question. What year is it where you come from?  
  
Buffy: 2000, why?  
  
Chakotay: From 400 years ago? That's a long ways. How did you get here? (Everyone gives Willow a dirty look)  
  
Willow: What??? I said I was sorry, guys. You know how it is.  
  
Giles: So now that we know when we are, would any of you care to tell us where we are?  
  
Janeway: That will be harder to explain. You're on the Federation Starship Voyager, 40,000 light-years from Earth. That's where we're trying to get.  
  
Giles: Been traveling long?  
  
Janeway: (nods) Seven years. But you get used to it. I'm sorry to keep harping on this but what exactly are you doing here?  
  
Spike: You have the Wimpy Witch of the West Coast to thank for that one; all she was trying to do was make cocoa and Wham! Suddenly we're all here.  
  
Buffy: Seeing how we know where and when we are, who was the kid that disappeared??  
  
Janeway: Q2  
  
Buffy: Is a Q2 some kind of demon? And if it is a demon can I kill him?? I have Mr. Pointy with me. (Buffy pulls a wooden stake out of the back of her jeans.)  
  
Giles: I don't know Buffy, let me check. (Flips through the book he had in his head when they disappeared) disappearing demons, disappearing. (Giles mumbles)  
  
Buffy: Good, I didn't get a lot of slayings in tonight  
  
Giles: Here we are, disappear, (Giles scans the page) Sorry Buffy, no Q2 demons.  
  
Spike: Hey Buff, why don't you slay the dunce of the west over there?  
  
Oz: I know we should have just made Swiss Miss.  
  
Kim: What's a demon? (Buffy and the Scoobies fall to the ground in laughter) What did I say?  
  
Tuvok: Demons are mythical creature of human legends. However they do not exist.  
  
Spike: Ever been to SunnyHell?  
  
Janeway: I can't say I've heard of the place. Where is it?  
  
Buffy: Sunnydale is in California, near Los Angeles.  
  
Janeway: And who are you people?  
  
Willow: Um, that's Buffy Summers, Xander Harris, Spike, Rupert Giles, Oz, and I'm Willow Roseburg. I'm really sorry for just popping in like that, it was a total accident, you understand, don't you? I'm not a very good witch yet; I'm still working on it though. All I was trying to do was make cocoa.  
  
Janeway: Well, we have had our share of unusual encounters, though you must agree that it does seem rather implausible.  
  
Giles: I do agree, madam, you have every reason to doubt us, though I assure you our intentions are quite harmless. We just want to get back to where we came from.  
  
Paris: Join the club.  
  
Janeway: Mr. Giles, am I correct in assuming that you're responsible for the rest here?  
  
Giles: Uh, more or less, I suppose.  
  
Janeway: Can I see you privately, please? Commander, keep an eye on the others. You have the Bridge.  
  
(He follows her into her ready room, the doors hiss shut and she spins on her heel and faces him.)  
  
Giles: I'm afraid we haven't been properly introduced.  
  
Janeway: (nods) Captain Kathryn Janeway; this is my starship, Voyager.  
  
Giles: Rupert Giles, Watcher (shakes hands with her) Pleasure to meet you, Captain.  
  
Janeway: I'm afraid I don't know what a Watcher is, Mr. Giles.  
  
Giles: It's hard to explain, and you can drop the "Mr.". See, Buffy in the other room is a Slayer. She fights demons and vampires, dark forces, what have you. It's my job to train her. Actually, I haven't officially been her Watcher for a number of years, but we became rather attached to each other.  
  
Janeway: I see. So you're saying that girl…  
  
Giles: She's much stronger than she looks, believe me.  
  
Janeway: So, how are we going to get you back?  
  
Giles: I'm sure Willow and I can think of something. We apologize for being such a bother to you.  
  
Janeway: (looks like she's getting a headache, sighs) It's fine, it was starting to get too quiet around here. Is there anything I should know about any of them?  
  
Giles: Well, Spike is a vampire, Oz is a werewolf—  
  
Janeway: What?! I thought you said that Buffy girl was supposed to kill people like that!  
  
Giles: Um, technically speaking, I suppose she is, but Spike's harmless, and Oz just needs to be chained up every month. Nothing we can't deal with.  
  
Janeway: How comforting. At the risk of being rude, I have to tell you having dangerous people like that roaming my ship freely can and will pose a major security risk. I'd like to keep them somewhat confined if you don't mind.  
  
Giles: You'd be better off keeping Xander confined; he's liable to have just about anything happen to him. One of those people with the black cloud hovering over their head.  
  
Janeway: (smiles sympathetically as she is reminded of her favorite Ensign; who's died twice, fallen in love with a hologram, a former Drone, the wrong twin, someone who's been raised from the dead only to disappear again, and a psychopathic terrorist; been eaten by a holodeck program, assimilated by amateurs, nearly digested by species 8472, need I go on? [I'm not making this up!]) I think I know the type. So…Earth, what's it like when you come from? (Dying to hear about her home planet, although where they come from she's got centuries before she's even a glint in somebody's eye)  
  
Giles: Oh, the usual.  
  
Janeway: (sighs) Tell me  
  
Giles: What's it like now? Have you been in touch?  
  
Janeway: (nods) Mm-hmm. Sounds just the way we left it. Haven't had any crime or poverty, or pollution, or interplanetary war for centuries. I hope we get back soon.  
  
Giles: Sounds lovely. Very unlike the Earth I am from.  
  
Janeway: Yes, I know. Everyone's taught about the Second Dark Ages in school, what a time you come from.  
  
Giles: Is that what they call it? Well they hit the nail right on the head with that title. It's a pity I won't live to see your era begin. I like the sounds of it much better.  
  
Janeway: You seem like someone I could get along with. You seem very familiar somehow. (Snaps out of her cozy state of mind, mentally shakes herself) Listen to me, opening up like that to someone I don't even know. We'd better get back to your friends.  
  
Giles: may I ask you what a Q2 is? Is it a new type of demon in your time?  
  
Janeway: A Q or Q2 are a race of omnipotent being with the powers to do anything. Q2 is the son of Q.  
  
Giles: It sound like they can be annoying.  
  
Janeway: You have no idea. Q2 is okay. His father, on the other hand, has caused Starfleet some annoyance in the past.  
  
Giles: What is Starfleet?  
  
(Janeway had paused to think of a way to explain what Starfleet was without breaking the temporal prime directive)  
  
Janeway: lets just say it is a form of the military in the future.  
  
Giles: Oh I see, so how has this Q cause you trouble?  
  
Janeway: he has on one occasion introduced us to a new and dangerous enemy. I can't tell you any more with out effect the timeline in some way.  
  
Giles: I understand, can I have you explain who the Q's are to Buffy and the others?  
  
Janeway: of course  
  
(Captain Janeway and Giles walked back onto Voyager's bridge just in time to hear that someone has beat them to it)  
  
Paris: You should seen her face when Q called her Madam Captain; I also heard he appeared in the middle of her bubble bath once!  
  
Janeway: Well Mr. Paris it sounds as if you have explained whom the Q are.  
  
Buffy: Yes he has, he sounds interesting.  
  
Janeway: (sighs) So much for the Temporal Prime Directive.  
  
Xander: This place sounds like something out of a sci-fi movie!  
  
Oz: Ever try hummus?  
  
Janeway: Excuse me?  
  
Oz: The Q guy, every try attacking him with hummus?  
  
Xander: (slaps him upside the head) What is it with you and hummus? Give up the hummus!!  
  
Oz: He wouldn't see it coming. (Everybody groans)  
  
Janeway: No, I am afraid that we have never considered hummus, Oz is it?  
  
(Then we hear Q in a distant part of space far from Voyager say "Oh no not hummus! I'm allergic to hummus!")  
  
Buffy: Can I still try and kill him any way?  
  
Giles: (makes a dismissive gesture) Buffy, I have found the monster that you fought while on patrol, we have to get back.  
  
Buffy: what was it?  
  
Giles: it is called an Aproticia monster it eats cats and human flesh. And then it develops the psychic abilities to destroy matter and when it grow to it full potential it will destroy the world.  
  
Buffy: How do I destroy it when we get back?  
  
Janeway: could someone please explain to me what you are talking about?  
  
Giles: There is one girl chosen in every generation to fight the vampires. She is endowed with super-human strength to defeat them. As a watcher I am in charge of training her and informing the slayer of how to defeat various monsters. I also record everything the slayer does.  
  
Spike: but he was fired wasn't he?  
  
Giles: That's it, no more watching Passions in my bathtub. Besides it is because of your blood in the coca that we're all here.  
  
(All of the voyager crew crinkle their noses in disgust)  
  
Janeway: That's fine; I get the idea what a slayer is. It sounds very…interesting. This whole thing is just way out there, even for us. (She and Giles sit down and rub their temples in perfect sync. Buffy and the rest sort of look at the two of them, seeing something very familiar about them. Janeway taps her comm. badge) Janeway to Seven of Nine, would you come show our guests to their quarters.  
  
Seven: (VO) On my way, Captain. (Moments later she comes out of the turbolift, all the Scoobies assume defense formation) This way. (Janeway nods towards the lift, gesturing they follow Seven, they do so cautiously) I will not harm you  
  
Xander: Right…um, nice piercing. (Taps his left eyebrow)  
  
Seven: It is an ocular implant; I have Borg implants from my time in the collective.  
  
Buffy: Um, I get it. I got scars too, check it out (rolls up her pant leg)  
  
Seven: Perhaps our doctor could be of use in healing your wounds. (The doors open) This way. (They follow her to one of the ship's guest cabins. The doors open, they walk into the dark room.) Computer, lights. (The lights come on, revealing a large room for them to share.) I hope you will find the accommodations adequate. We will add you to the crew manifest for the time being, as well as credit your accounts with a week's worth of replicator rations. (They gawk at her, not totally sure of what she's talking about)  
  
Xander: (sits on a bed, bounces it a little to test its give) Cozy place, isn't it? What the hell is a replicawaziwah?  
  
Giles: I have no idea. We'd better not bother them; we've imposed on them too much already.  
  
Willow: Yeah, well it looks like you and the captain were hitting it off. Eh, Giles? Loverboy?  
  
Giles: That's not funny, Willow. Just let it be.  
  
Buffy: Ooh, somebody's sensitive! Think she's pretty?  
  
Giles: Leave it alone, all of you! Honestly, I just met with the woman!  
  
Xander: Hey, it happens (makes kissy faces at him)  
  
Spike: Ugh, now that's a disturbing sight. Stop it; there are ladies present (hits him again to get him to stop)  
  
Giles: All of you just grow up. Go to sleep, heaven knows what time it is.  
  
Computer: (bleeps) The time is 000 hours. (They all jump and stare at the ceiling)  
  
Willow: Okay, now that was kinda spooky. A room that talks?  
  
Oz: Yeah, weird. I wonder if they know what color socks I am wearing. (With those words, purple socks with witches on them appear in the replicator.)  
  
Spike: you wear purple socks with witches on them. So manly  
  
Oz: Willow gave them to me.  
  
Willow: Oh Oz, are you wearing the underwear too?  
  
Oz: Once in a while  
  
Scoobies in unison: don't need that picture in my head  
  
Xander: I am going to throw up.  
  
Buffy: me too, Xand  
  
Xander: I wonder if they have toilets in the twenty-fourth century.  
  
Willow: I know a spell that--  
  
Scoobies: NO MORE SPELLS!!!  
  
Buffy: That thing just spits out socks out of nowhere! There could be some kind of psychic evil, something-or-other! I mean, who knows what it could do next?! (Stakes the replicator, sparks fly all over and an alarm goes off. Seconds later Lt. Torres and the Captain come into the room, B'Elanna heads right for the replicator, sticks her head inside and starts muttering)  
  
Torres: (yanks out Mr. Pointy) Okay, who shoved this into the replicator?  
  
Buffy: (she and the Scoobies all look at each other. She steps forward proudly) I killed it! Now gimme back Mr. Pointy! (Swipes back her stake, talks baby-talk to it) Did she hurt you? Aww, its all right.  
  
Torres: (glances back for a second, stares at Buffy's attitude towards a spike of wood, goes back to making repairs) No offense, but even I had a stuffed animal.  
  
Buffy: Its Mr. Pointy. He's my lucky stake. (Kisses 'him' and sticks it in her back pocket)  
  
Torres: Ooookay. Now, first of all, this is Mr. Replicator. Mr. Replicator is our friend. Mr. Replicator, when properly used, and not staked… makes us things we need such as food, clothing, just about whatever you can think of. NOT A DEMON!!!  
  
Giles: Um, thank you for that clarification.  
  
Torres: (tinkers around with the ruined equipment, fixing the damage done by the well-meaning if not misinformed slayer) That should do it. (Gets up, turns around and faces them) Just tell it what you want and it appears right in there. (Mistaking Torres for a vampire, Buffy raises her stake to attack B'Elanna, who has a second to react before utter peril. She drops on the floor and kicks Buffy's legs out from under her)  
  
Torres: What is it with you and staking?? (Janeway grabs Mr. Pointy and flings it at Giles, who catches it. Janeway then draws her phaser and has it ready)  
  
Buffy: You…are…a…demon! (Lunges at B'Elanna again, Giles stands in front of Janeway)  
  
Giles: Buffy, settle down. I don't think she's a demon. Are you?  
  
Torres: No. Why do you think so?  
  
Buffy: I've never seen a human that looks like that!  
  
Torres: (flushes mauve with indignity) Well, maybe it's because I'm not.  
  
Giles: See, Buffy? She's not. (Realizes what he just said) You're not?  
  
Janeway: (sighs) You've never seen an extraterrestrial. B'Elanna, I apologize, I should have warned you.  
  
Torres: (taking all this in) Oh! You mean…(self-conscious of her forehead for the first time in years)  
  
Buffy: Oh, you're…supposed to look like that?  
  
Torres: (growls) Captain…  
  
Janeway: Miss Summers, please show a little more respect. Lieutenant Torres is one of my most prized officers. While you are here, doubtless you will encounter people of other races than human.  
  
Xander: Um, excuse me? What else is there?  
  
Janeway: I see we have a looong way to go. Just don't go insulting everyone.  
  
Oz: No problem there, I'm a little different myself.  
  
Janeway: Yes, Mr. Giles told me. Why is it you can associate with a vampire and a werewolf but the moment you see a woman with forehead ridges you try to kill her?  
  
Buffy: And lovely ridges they are. (Weak smile. B'Elanna leaves; Buffy and the rest follow her apologizing)  
  
Janeway: (sits down, it's a long day. Giles rubs her shoulders; he's found her weakness!) Oh, thank you.  
  
Giles: It happens to be one of my more secret specialties, and something you obviously needed.  
  
Janeway: You are a man of many talents, Mr. Giles. (Feels warm tingles course though her body, feeling man's touch for the first time in seven years) I'd almost forgotten what this feels like. I haven't been able to do this in ages. Everyone here's a subordinate, its like I'm not allowed to have feelings. This is nice. It's different with holograms.  
  
Giles: Sorry, what's a hologram?  
  
Janeway: Oh, never mind. It's not important. (Cozy sigh) Do you need a hand getting back where you came from?  
  
Giles: Actually, yes. It's a matter of importance actually.  
  
Janeway: Well, if we could be of help, we're willing to lend a hand.  
  
Giles: (stops) That's very hospitable of you, thank you.  
  
Janeway: Let's have a peek at that book of yours; find some way to defend against that creature you mentioned. (Gets up, sits at a table with the Big Book-O-Demons. He sits opposite her) you deal with these things every day? Remind me to introduce you to the Borg. (Smiles almost flirt-like at him, he does too. Goes through a few pages, looks appalled at a large amount of them)  
  
Giles: There isn't much that we can't handle.  
  
Janeway: You seem like a good team. How long have you known each other?  
  
Giles: Four, five years. Never a dull moment.  
  
Janeway: I know how that feels. Sometimes you just pray for something to disrupt things when it's too quiet.  
  
Giles: I welcome what free time I can. I worry about Buffy sometimes. I know she's capable of taking care of herself, but she's still young, vulnerable. Of course it's all relative. For a slayer, she's getting to be over the hill.  
  
Janeway: Really? She can't be more than…18?  
  
Giles 19, you're close. No, most slayers don't live past 16. She's been lucky  
  
Janeway: I guess. Good for her. (Pauses in thought) You know, it occurs to me your name sounds kind of familiar now that I think about it. Maybe I have heard of you.  
  
Giles: Oh? How flattering.  
  
Chakotay: (VO) Bridge to the Captain  
  
Janeway: (taps comm. badge) Janeway here, what is it Commander?  
  
Chakotay: (VO) We need you on the Bridge.  
  
Janeway: On my way, Commander. Janeway out. Would you excuse me? I'm terribly sorry.  
  
Giles: Its not a problem, duty calls. The bat signal is up, I guess. (She gets up and heads for the Bridge, he follows her) Captain—(ducks into the turbolift with her)  
  
Janeway: Yes?  
  
Giles: (nervous) I…never met a woman like you.  
  
Janeway: (shy smile) Oh, thank you. Same to you. (Catches herself, shakes her head) You know what I mean.  
  
Giles: (smiles back) Yes, I do. Um, would it be…possible, that is, are you free much?  
  
Janeway: What?  
  
Giles: Oh, nothing, that wasn't appropriate.  
  
Janeway: (sensing his lack of confidence in the female department, decides to take charge) Would you like to join me on the holodeck later? You'll like it, I promise.  
  
Giles: I believe you. When?  
  
Janeway: Tomorrow, before my shift?  
  
Giles: I'll be looking forward to it.  
  
Janeway: Me too. (The doors open, she steps off and he goes back to his quarters. She strolls in and lounges in her seat, gives her First Officer a little wave) what was it you needed me for?  
  
Chakotay: Actually it was a false alarm, we have everything under control, sorry to—  
  
Janeway: Chakotay, you're supposed to be my First Officer, not my chaperone (gives him a shove).  
  
(While Janeway and Chakotay are on the bridge, Torres takes Buffy and the gang to the holodeck.)  
  
Torres: This is a holodeck, not a monster.  
  
Buffy: Just because I staked your repliwhatmacallit doesn't mean I'll stake everything (raspberries Torres)  
  
Torres: May I remind you that you tried to stake me just a little bit ago?  
  
Buffy: it was not my fault that you look like a vampire, now is it?  
  
Torres: Computer, Klingon martial arts program four. After you, slayer  
  
(Buffy walks into the room to see some very interesting metal weapons on the wall. Torres follows in after her and picks up on of the weapons, throws one to Buffy)  
  
Torres: Lets just see if you can put some action behind those words of yours  
  
Buffy: I'd love to. What is this anyway?  
  
Torres: it is a bat'leth. Klingon weapon of choice. It's a bit cumbersome to a novice, but I have to admit it does have certain elegance about it. (Swishes it through the air absently) It helps me accept my mixed heritage. So, are we done with the introductions? Let's go. (Buffy raises her bat'leth above her head into a fighting stance.) Not bad, slayer. Your posture isn't bad. (Brings her weapon down. Buffy counters by pushing up and putting half of her slayer strength behind her assault. Which in turn slams Torres against the wall of the holodeck)  
  
(Tom Paris passes by the holodeck to see that his wife was pinned up against the wall by that girl that had appeared in the middle the bridge.)  
  
Paris: B'Elanna what are you doing losing like that? What would your mother think?  
  
Torres: Shut up, flyboy (Tom uses his comm. page to tell all of the voyager crew that B'Elanna and Buffy were fighting in holodeck two. With in a matter of minutes, practically the entire Voyager crew is watching the fight including Captain Janeway and Giles. They're all cheering them on; Tom's taking bets, and the fight isn't getting any prettier. Both women are taking and dodging hits and looking increasingly tired. Buffy blocks a hit but the force knocks her down)  
  
Willow: (skipping like a cheerleader) Come on, Buffy! You can do it! Go Buffy! (Everyone, even the fighters stop for a minute and gape at her) What? (They resume)  
  
Giles: Oh, Buffy. Have I taught you nothing? You're exposing yourself! Watch the knees, Buffy! For gods' sakes! You're embarrassing me!  
  
Janeway: Looks like your slayer's met her match, Rupert.  
  
Giles: (a bit fazed at being addressed by his first name, fakes an offended expression) Not a chance! If anything, your engineer's met hers, Kathryn  
  
Janeway: (its obvious both adults feel closer from having established first- name basis) I'm sure she'd disagree. Oooh, nice move, 'Lanna! (Claps)  
  
Torres: (panting) Tired yet, Slayer?  
  
Buffy: (also panting) Hardly. I could do this…for hours (shoves her into the crowd, knocking Giles and the Captain into each other) I have saved the world on three or four different occasions and sent my boyfriend to hell. This is nothing.  
  
Giles: Oww, my head.  
  
Janeway: Sorry.  
  
Doctor: (steps forward, scans them both for damage) Hold still, please. (Long silence save for the bleepings of the recorder) Hmm, that's interesting. (Looks at both of them, still within close proximity to each other) Very interesting.  
  
Janeway: Doctor?  
  
Doctor: Hmm? Oh, nothing.  
  
Giles: (looks back into the holodeck, both women are collapsed on the floor) Looks like we missed the tail end. How did it come out?  
  
Paris: It's a draw! They both just stopped! (Goes beside his wife, coaxing her into a sitting position)  
  
Janeway: Damn!  
  
Paris: That's 10 from you, Captain?  
  
Janeway: Shut up before I demote you, "Ensign".  
  
Giles: It's awfully late; may I escort you back to your quarters, Kathryn?  
  
Janeway: That would be nice, thank you. (Outside her door, they hover within inches of each other for a moment, then he moves in fast and plants a kiss on her cheek, completely stunning her. She backs into her room; as soon as the doors hiss shut Giles hears her rare girlish laughter from inside her room. Inside) Oh finally! Thank you, whoever's up there. I've never fallen this fast before. Oh god, its as though we were made for each other. (Climbs under her covers and goes to sleep)  
  
(By the time Giles gets back to the temporary bat cave, Buffy and the rest are already there)  
  
Willow: Hey Giles, how's your girlfriend?  
  
Giles: (too happy to care he's being made fun of) Perfect. It's as though another me, slightly different, made into a beautiful woman. (Lays down, in a dream) Fate has brought us together.  
  
Xander: Hey there, Romeo-Reaper, what's all this? I haven't seen you this bad since Miss Calendar or the psycho female watcher.  
  
Giles: Calender-schmalender. Kathryn Janeway's one in a million, one in a trillion, one in a googolplex. And I have a date in the morning.  
  
Buffy: You don't waste any time, do you?  
  
Giles: I wouldn't mind hanging around here a while longer.  
  
Buffy: Giles, the demon? We kinda have to get back or none of this will happen. Then your girlfriend won't even exist anymore. You understand that much?  
  
Giles: Buffy, would it kill you to let me be content for just one moment? Yes, I realize it's imperative that we get back home, but I think this is for real. How else could we feel so close after such a short time together?  
  
Buffy: Blah blah blah, I'd rather not think of you swooning over someone right now.  
  
Giles: Can it, Buffy. It's all right for you to subject me to every aspect of your love life, but the second I get a little then suddenly its "Eww, gross, we don't want to hear about that". She's strong, intelligent, she's got a body to die for (everyone gags, including Spike), but there's something else…a sadness about her.  
  
Spike: Knock it off, you bloody pansy! You're making us all sick! (Sticks his head under a pillow, black out)  
  
(The next morning, Giles gets up, figures out how to replicate some fresh clothes, and heads for the holodeck. Inside, the captain is waiting for him in her Gothic Victorian program, dressed for the setting)  
  
Giles: Oh, I'm terribly sorry, am I late?  
  
Janeway: Not at all, please sit down.  
  
Giles: Extraordinary (looking all around, touching things, finally sits down beside her. He doesn't notice but she scoots a little bit closer to him) and none of this is real?  
  
Janeway: Depends on what you mean by "real"  
  
Giles: Incredible, though I do admit I'm feeling a little under-dressed. (We're gonna need a mop, he's drooling all over the place!) You look fabulous.  
  
Janeway: Thank you. And don't worry, you're fine. I've deleted all the other characters in this program. Just us. (Realizing she's *this* close to sitting in his lap, reminding herself she just met him a few hours ago) I come here to escape the 24th century. Even I need a break from it once in a while.  
  
Giles: I understand completely. (About to kiss her, she dodges him)  
  
Janeway: Please don't. (Scoots away, very much in temptation)  
  
Giles: I'm sorry. I should have known better. Frankly, I'm feeling as though I've known you my whole life. It seems impossible that we just met.  
  
Janeway: I know, I know. I feel the same way…close. But I…can't  
  
Giles: And why not? I don't serve under you. (Believe me, she'd love to serve under him!)  
  
Janeway: That's true…I've never had this happen before. So fast.  
  
Giles: I understand. I'm sorry.  
  
Janeway: (sotto) You don't know what it's like, Rupert. To be alone among many like this. I can barely remember the last time I let myself be involved with another man.  
  
Giles: (scoots closer to her, drapes his arm around her shoulders, she struggles with herself against reacting or turning to mush) I know. It must be awfully lonely. For what its worth, you're not alone now. (Kisses her forehead, her cheek, then she pulls him back and kisses him on the lips. He can feel her trembling as he holds her)  
  
Janeway: (looks at her lap) I'd thank you not to mention this to anyone.  
  
Giles: You have my word.  
  
Janeway: (turns back to him, a sort of childish look about her, whispers) I think I love you. (Presses herself into his arms, he gladly accepts. Just then Tom Paris and Xander come in to use the holodeck)  
  
Paris: Wait till I show you my—(stops short, sees Watcher and Captain jump away from each other and stare at the new arrivals like deer caught in the headlights. Tom takes a deep breath)–spoon collection! (Shoves Xander out hard, the doors shut behind him, whispers) I won't tell. (Janeway nods, she changes back into her uniform and she and Giles exit.)  
  
(A few hours later, Janeway calls a meeting in the briefing room about how to get them home and destroy the demon when they get there. Both she and Giles are facing "their" people, away from each other with their arms folded)  
  
Janeway: B'Elanna, I need you and Chakotay to go through all relevant data on this creature they need to destroy. Go though myths, folklore, legends, whatever is compatible with the description he gave us.  
  
Giles: Willow, its important that you remember exactly what you said and did during the spell so we can reverse it. You can also go though and see if there are any specific spells that could also be useful. Buffy, you and Spike go help them with the demon, look for weaknesses, flaws, anything that will help us combat it.  
  
Janeway and Giles together: (making identical "chopping" gestures with their hands) Timing is everything! If this doesn't work, none of this will happen. The future of Earth depends on us! (Oz notices their similarity, chokes back a laugh, drawing their attention) What?  
  
Oz: talk about double mint twins  
  
Giles: (exchanges looks with the captain, shakes it off) Never mind, Oz. All right, everybody know what's going on?  
  
Janeway and Giles together: (claps) Do it. (That's the kicker, she stares at him)  
  
Giles: What?  
  
Janeway: You said "Do it".  
  
Giles: So? You did, too.  
  
Janeway: I know. Its just…never mind. (Gives him a flirting smile)  
  
(The doctor pipes up just before everyone leaves)  
  
Doctor: Can I have a minute to talk with the Captain as well as Mr. Giles?  
  
Janeway: Is there a problem?  
  
Doctor: Yes, as a matter of fact there is.  
  
Giles: We don't have time for this, Doctor just tell us.  
  
Doctor: Captain?  
  
Janeway: Yes, please just tell us  
  
Doctor: Well, it seem that when I scanned you and Mr. Giles, something interesting popped up.  
  
Giles: What is it?  
  
Doctor: It seems that you and the captain are related  
  
Janeway: What am I? A cousin seventeen times removed or something?  
  
Doctor: More like he is your great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather.  
  
Spike: You were dating your bloody granddaughter! That is disgusting!  
  
(Everyone looks at Spike in surprise)  
  
Spike: What? I maybe a big bad vampire but there are things even vampires don't do.  
  
Oz: well at least we all know that Giles gets laid!  
  
Buffy: First my mother, now this. Too many images.  
  
Tom: You slept with Buffy's mother? Is that traditional training policy?  
  
Giles: No, I was under the influence of chocolate.  
  
Torres: They most have changed the recipe for chocolate.  
  
Buffy: Believe me, they did.  
  
Xander: I guess that makes you exempt from his little dating curse.  
  
Janeway: Dating curse?  
  
Willow: All the girls he dates end up dying.  
  
Janeway: You're serious?  
  
Paris: At that rate, you're lucky you exist, Captain.  
  
Janeway: I guess so. Rupert, it goes without saying that…we can't see each other anymore.  
  
Giles: I'd assumed. (Janeway leaves) Kathryn, wait—(follows her out)  
  
Oz: Another one bites the dust.  
  
(Janeway goes into her ready room, locking Giles out)  
  
Giles: Kathryn, please. It…could be worse. (No answer) Okay, I don't know how, but…so we're family, it's not a big deal. At least let me in. (inside, Janeway gets up and opens the door) Thank you.  
  
Janeway: (angry, and frustrated) It wouldn't have worked out anyway. You have to go back, this just adds to it. You couldn't understand, so I'll give you the list: high school boyfriend—dead, fiancé—married someone else, live-in boyfriend—had to leave him after I was de-brainwashed and I never see him again, you—my grandfather! Now, I have never complained about this, but this is just too much. You see? It's just too much for one person to take! (Slams her desk with her fist, everything on it jumps)  
  
Giles: Well, it hasn't been exactly easy for me either. Like Xander said, everyone that I fall in love with ends in tragedy. But, knowing that I had some small part in creating you…means a lot to me. Now, I know that recent revelations make it impossible for us to continue seeing each other romantically, but I mean it when I say that I am never going to forget you.  
  
Janeway: (also admittedly touched by their connection) I won't forget this, either.  
  
(Buffy and Seven are in engineering have a heart to heart.)  
  
Buffy: So what are you?  
  
Seven: I am human; I was assimilated by the Borg as a child.  
  
Buffy: Sounds…interesting. So do you miss the Borg people?  
  
Seven: No, and I fail to see the relevance of the question  
  
Buffy: I was talking to the captain and she told me that you are trying to regain your humanity. I know what that is like.  
  
Seven: Highly doubtful, seeing as you were never Borg and part of the hive mind.  
  
Buffy: What is a hive mind?  
  
Seven: it is billions of different drones talking in your mind at one time until you are at a point when you are no longer an individual, but a slave to the wishes of the mind because you can not hear your own.  
  
Buffy: I may have an idea of what you mean I am a one slayer in a line of one thousand slayers before me. As a slayer I have been forced in to one role for the rest on my life. I have listened to so many voices that have been telling I must kill this monster, demon or master vampire. That I'm no longer a person when I am slaying on patrol. I am just a mindless machine to all of those voices and I just kill, I don't think.  
  
Seven: you have some understanding of a hive mind, after all. How do you keep your humanity?  
  
Buffy: Personally I find one way to keep my own humanity is to let all of my troubles and worries wash. When I step into a warm bubble bath for a couple of hours everything soaks away well I am in the tub. And when I get out I tend to be more relaxed and mellowed for a couple of hours.  
  
Seven: a bubble bath  
  
Buffy: You should try it some time Seven. I have to go Giles has arranged for a training program for me to take so I don't slack in my abilities while we are away from Sunnydale.  
  
(Next we meet up with Willow)  
  
Willow: (in some random corridor) Um, hey, computer? (Computer bleeps) Hi. Um, computer, could you tell me where the captain is?  
  
Computer: (bleeps) Captain Janeway is on holodeck 2  
  
Willow: Okay, thanks. Where's holodeck 2?  
  
Computer: Deck 6.  
  
Willow: How do I get there?  
  
Computer: (bleeps) Use the turbolift.  
  
Willow: Thanks. Have a nice day. (Finds the turbolift) Hey, Computer? It's me again. How do I start this thing? Sorry.  
  
Computer: Desired location?  
  
Willow: Deck 6, please. (The lift starts up) Whoa! (It stops on Deck 6, the doors hiss open) Cool, thanks for the ride! Bye! (Goes to the holodeck and knocks on the door)  
  
Janeway: (VO from inside) Push the big white button. (Willow does and comes inside to her Da Vinci program)  
  
Willow: Wow, nice. Make this yourself?  
  
Janeway: I think it came with the ship.  
  
Willow: Oh. Hey, wanna talk? (Pulls up a seat)  
  
Janeway: What about?  
  
Willow: Oh, I don't know, family?  
  
Janeway: (ironic laugh) I let myself fall in love with one of my ancestors, could you spare me the ridicule please?  
  
Willow: I'm not here to make fun of you, but just keep in mind that he let himself fall in love with one of his descendents. If you hadn't found out you were related you'd still be crazy for each other. (Janeway sighs, looks depressed, Willow tries to cheer her up) Aw, hey, you wouldn't have wanted him anyway.  
  
Janeway: Oh?  
  
Willow: Yeah, he's always bringing his work home with him (Janeway smiles a little, as it pertains to her as well) Oh, you do that, too?  
  
Janeway: I must have gotten it from him. (Sighs) Oh, Rupert…stupid chromosomes.  
  
Willow: Yeah, well, he…has not taste at all, he can barely dress himself without help. Oh! And he snores!  
  
Janeway: Does he?  
  
Willow: Oh yeah, really loud. Mouth wide open and everything.  
  
Janeway: Do I want to know how you know this?  
  
Willow: Well, I guess when you save the world with the same crowd on a regular basis, you kinda get to know stuff you don't really need to know. Oh, hey Captain, I got a great idea.  
  
(Several hours later in the newly-programmed steamy Swedish spa, they're both lying on massage tables, towels around their bodies and their hair. They're getting killer backrubs by holographic men)  
  
Janeway: (moans) You were right, this is just what I needed. (Stretches, practically purring)  
  
Willow: Another thing you learn from being a Slayer's sidekick is how and when to relax.  
  
Janeway: Old-world wisdom, gotta love it.  
  
Willow: Hmm. Whoa, man! What time is it??  
  
Computer: The time is 2000 hours.  
  
Willow: (points to the ceiling) I love your computer.  
  
Janeway: (smiles lazily) I think she likes you too.  
  
Willow: Well, this has been just super, but I have a date with Oz. Can we use the other holodeck? Pretty please?  
  
Janeway: I don't see why not, if no one's in it already. What are you kids going to do in there, if you don't mind me asking?  
  
Willow: We're going to have our first moonlit evening together. Kinda hard to do when you're dating a werewolf.  
  
Janeway: Sounds like fun, you two go have a good time. I'd better get moving, too. (They delete the masseuses and get dressed, exiting but having completely forgotten to shut down the program. A few minutes later, Seven of Nine pokes her head in, looks around, and lets herself in)  
  
Seven: Computer, add a bubble bath to this program.  
  
(Within two second a ceramic bathtub appears and it is filled to the hilt with bubbles)  
  
Seven: Computer, don't open this door for anyone with out my authorization.  
  
(About an hour later, Seven is looking relaxed for the first time in her life, splashing lazily, in the next holodeck Willow and Oz are having a romantic moonlit stroll.)  
  
Willow: I should have known there should be a way around this whole werewolf thing.  
  
Oz: this will be peachy keen  
  
(Willow leans over to Oz and wraps her arms around his neck.)  
  
Willow: I love you Oz.  
  
(Willow rises on to her tiptoes to reach Oz better and she kisses him)  
  
(With a violent shiver Oz pushes Willow away)  
  
Oz: willow run! Now get out of here!  
  
(Oz's nose lengthens into an animals snout, you can see that his vertebrae is curving from being one of a human to one of a primitive animal. next long pieces of coarse animal fur start to grow on his back. to end his transformation a tail grows out of his back end.)  
  
(When willow ran out of the holodeck she left the doors open so Oz in werewolf form runs out the doors. So now there is a bloodthirsty werewolf loose on Voyager. Seven wanders casually out of the holodeck and sees Oz. The Doctor comes up behind her)  
  
Seven: Hi there, puppy. Doctor, look at the puppy (totally relaxed smile)  
  
Doctor: Seven, trust me here, that is not a puppy. Run! (Oz snarls at them both, Seven remains unfazed and tries to pet him; the Doctor pulls her hand away and forces her to run away from him)  
  
Seven: Doctor, what is it?  
  
Doctor: I'm not sure but I don't think we want to find out.  
  
(The captain walks passed the holodeck to find some kind of animal on all fours at the entrance of the holodeck.)  
  
Janeway: what is that?  
  
(Oz lifts on of his paws and swipes across Janeway's arm leaving dangerously deep claw marks on her arm. Oz brings the bloody paw to his snout and licks it. A look that makes you think he has just tasted fine wine appears on his face.)  
  
Janeway: that can't be a good sign! (And she runs from the holodeck to find someone to help subdue the creature.  
  
(As janeway runs down the hall she slams into Giles)  
  
Giles: Kathryn what is your rush? (Janeway makes a downward glance at her clawed arm) Oh no, Oz is loose as a werewolf. Thank goodness it wasn't a bite. (Janeway clasps into Giles' arms and faints. He scoops her up and cradles her in his arms, the doctor appears)  
  
Doctor: would it have killed you to go to sickbay once in your lifetime? Tsk, tsk, tsk. Computer, medical emergency. Two to beam directly to sickbay, and transfer EMH program to sickbay as well.  
  
(In sickbay, Giles doesn't have time to wonder about what just happened, he lays Janeway down on a biobed and a second later the Doctor appears and scans her)  
  
Doctor: She's lost a great deal of blood; she's going to need a direct blood transfusion. (Gives Giles a meaningful look) From a family member.  
  
Giles: Whatever it takes. I need to get Buffy, tell her what the situation is. She'll know what to do.  
  
Doctor: Very well. (Taps comm. badge.) Sickbay to Buffy Summers, your friend Oz has turned into a werewolf and is loose on the ship. Take whatever measures necessary.  
  
Buffy: (VO) Um, sure thing.  
  
Giles: Thank you. (The Doctor sets up the transfusion. Giles lays down on the next biobed. An hour or so later, the Doctor revives them both, they both sit up with that "what happened?" look.)  
  
Doctor: How are you both feeling? (They each nod) Lucky thing Mr. Giles was here, Captain. You needed a direct transfusion from a family member. His blood saved your life.  
  
Janeway: Mmm?  
  
Giles: My thoughts exactly. Feel all right there?  
  
Janeway: Yes, thank you. Still a little woozy. How much did you…?  
  
Giles: Haven't the faintest idea. Doctor?  
  
Doctor: Oh, a pint or two. Nothing he won't miss.  
  
Janeway: Oh, Rupert. (Smiles at him and reaches for her hand, stops herself when remembers he'd used the term "family member", withdraws)  
  
Giles: It's all right, Kathryn. Buffy's on patrol. (Groans slightly) Nobody messes with my favorite granddaughter without paying the price. (She gives him a weak smile, lays down)  
  
(down in the brig, Buffy has Oz behind a forcefield, Willow's standing nearby)  
  
Willow: Don't hurt him!  
  
Buffy: Get a hold of yourself, Will.  
  
(Spike is standing behind Buffy with full game face on)  
  
Spike: I am so bloody happy I got to hit something (he jump up with a cheer of "Yes! Yippee!")  
  
Buffy: Shut up Spike, before I take Mr. Pointy and stake you.  
  
(Torres walked into the brig to see the with a stake in hand ready to kill something that looked like Spike.)  
  
Spike: you're welcome to try, slayer.  
  
Buffy: Come on and take you're best shot, Spikey-poo (Buffy lifts her arm and takes a finger and run it across her jugular vein in her neck)  
  
Spike: That is it, I am going to kill you! (Spike runs toward Buffy with game face still on. when he reaches Buffy he places his hands on her shoulders. Spike falls to the ground with both hands on either side of his forehead.) Ahhh! Ahhh, that hurts!  
  
Buffy: Ha, ha ! Poor puppy got neutered and can't hurt a fly with that chip in his head.  
  
Spike: Damn chip, I bloody hate you slayer .(Spike walked out)  
  
(After the doors to the brig , we see that spike is alone.)  
  
Spike : I lied again slayer, I don't hate you. Far from it. I am in love with you. I could never actually hurt a hair on your head. However if the only way I can touch you is to play this game of cat and mouse, so be it. Oh, how I love you, Buffy Summers (as Spike says these last words a single tear falls from his eyes. B'Elanna leans in and whispers to Willow)  
  
Torres: Do they do this sort of thing all the time?  
  
Willow: Oh, yeah. Sometimes they go on for hours! It gets boring after a while.  
  
Torres: Remind me of Tom and me when we were just getting to know each other.  
  
Willow: And you say you're married?  
  
Torres: Uh-huh.  
  
Willow: Yeah, Buffy and Spike thought they were getting married once, and they still fought like cats and dogs. That was one of my bads though.  
  
Torres: (gives her a strange look) Right. Well, that happens. I guess. Well, speaking of your spells, Mr. Giles has found a way to get you all home. Oh, look, your friend's back to normal. (Oz turning back into a human, steps forward, gets shocked by the forcefield.)  
  
Willow: Oz, are you all right? I'm sorry for putting you in there. (B'Elanna turns off the forcefield and Willow joins Oz in the brig and they kiss. B'Elanna looks tempted to turn the forcefield back on)  
  
Torres: All right, enough mushy stuff. Time to go back home.  
  
Oz: What? We can go?  
  
Torres: Giles and the Captain have been putting their heads together on this and they found a way to get you back.  
  
Oz: Bet that's not all they put together, eh Will? (Willow hits him for being the sick-minded bastard that he is) Did I mention I love you?  
  
Willow: Aww.  
  
Torres: Ahem. You two, conference room, now.  
  
Willow: Well, sure, "Mom".  
  
Oz: Yeah, gee whiz, you're no fun.  
  
Torres: Now! (in her "I mean business, mother would be so proud" voice. They jump up and follow her to the conference room. On the way there Willow knocks into someone carrying a stack of PADDs)  
  
Willow: Oh, sorry. (helps her pick them up) Whoa, I'm sorry but I don't think I can get used to all these different people.  
  
Doec: You're one of those people from the past, aren't you?  
  
Willow: Um, yeah.  
  
Doec: I'm Lieutenant Doec. I understand you'll be leaving soon. Hey, got any of those round flat black things you play music on?  
  
Willow: No, but I think Giles has a load of them.  
  
Doec: Wow. The replicators can't make them so I'm kinda out of luck  
  
Willow: Aw, that's…too bad.  
  
Doec: Well, the computer's got everything, but Lt. Paris tells me vinyl sounds so much better!  
  
Willow: Hey, nice meeting you, I gotta go or Torres will get mad.  
  
Doec: Whoa, I'd hate to make you get on her bad side. Bye! (and they part ways)  
  
(We find all of the crewmembers and the Scoobies in the briefing room; everybody has sad expressions on their faces at the idea of leaving.)  
  
Janeway: Seven are you okay? You look extremely calm and mellow.  
  
Seven: I am fine, Captain  
  
Buffy: You took a bubble-bath didn't you Seven? (Seven just nods at Buffy)  
  
(Giles taps Buffy on the shoulder and hands her a weapon)  
  
Giles: With the resources I had available to me, thanks to the computer on the ship, this weapon will allow you to kill the Aproticia demon.  
  
(Buffy looks down at the weapon in her hand, it was silver and looked like a club except that on the head of the club were sharp razor blades all over it.)  
  
Buffy: How do you kill it with this Giles ?  
  
Giles : you chop its head of with the mallet.  
  
Buffy : we have little time to waste let's go  
  
Giles: everyone gather around so I can do the spell.  
  
(Janeway walks over to Giles and give him a granddaughter style hug)  
  
Janeway: Goodbye Rupert  
  
Giles: Goodbye Kathryn (kisses her forehead) Oh Kathryn, I have been wondering, where is your Slayer?  
  
Janeway: I don't have a slayer. Until you arrived on this ship I never know such a person existed.  
  
Giles: I am surprised you never heard of a slayer seeing that you are on of my descendents. And all of my ancestors and descendants are sworn to train and educate the slayer of her destiny until the end of time.  
  
Janeway: Well, maybe you and Buffy defeated all of the monsters in the past and the slayer is obsolete. (Buffy looks at Janeway with an odd expression on his face.)  
  
Buffy: Impossible  
  
Giles: Never made with it now we have to go.  
  
Willow: You need some help with the spell?  
  
Everyone: No, if you help for all we know we'd end up in Hell  
  
Giles: (Giles begins the spell) Rosemary and thyme, minus the blood this time, let us return to our time. Mote it be.  
  
(Buffy and Giles and the rest of the Scoobies' bodies slowly dissolve until there in just a shadow of their individual persons left on the ship. Within a few seconds that vanishes too. Then Buffy and the gang appear back in Sunnydale. By chance it is in front of the Aproticia demon. Buffy raises the club and quickly kills the demon.)  
  
Buffy: No sweat, another apocalypse is avoided .  
  
(Back on Voyager, Janeway is reading over Watching for Dummies, the table is cluttered with PADDs and empty mugs. Deciding she needs to stretch her legs, she pokes her head into holodeck 1. She finds Seven asleep in another bubble bath. She looks back at the PADD she was just reading and then back at Seven. There is a picture on the PADD, captioning it as the birthmark of the Slayer. Zoom in to Seven to show she bears it. Janeway smiles to herself and leaves)  
  
Janeway: I guess I've found my Slayer after all.  
  
1 Fin 


	2. Time Warped 2

We don't own Star Trek: Voyager, the god Gene Roddenberry is responsible but actual it was my idea but Gene Roddenberry said he would trade my idea for a Happy Meal (trademark of McDonalds) I was five so I said yes (just joking). We also don't own Buffy: The Vampire Slayer, the almighty Joss Whendon owns the rights to Buffy. It's too bad we don't own Buffy because if we did we wouldn't be broke  
  
GoddessVixen & Doec Present  
  
1 Time Warped: The Second  
  
(Captain Janeway is setting in the mass hall at 0300, and she gets a craving for something other than coffee. [suspend your disbelief for just a minute!] But she is not sure what to ask for)  
  
Janeway: (mutters to herself) Oz…maybe I should try it. Computer, a bowl of hummus. (It produces it for her; she takes it to her table and pokes at it. Suddenly there's a ping! And Q appears in front of her with a look of horror on his face. She looks up at him, almost bored. Yawns, smiles at him casually) Oh. Hi, Q.  
  
Q: (looks genuinely scared for the first time in his life. Well, at least not since he'd been turned into a human and was attacked by just about everyone from irate aliens to a fork-wielding Guinan) Kathy, put it down and step away.  
  
Janeway: (now totally confused) What? This? (Holds the bowl under his nose)  
  
Q: Ugh! I warned you! (Snaps, she looks shocked before she disappears) Ah, the threat is gone.  
  
Janeway: (reappears in a man's bedroom, bowl still in hand she looks around in alarm. Looks up and hisses) Q?! (She hears the sound of a shower being shut off and a man humming the Passions theme song absently as though a certain vampire had gotten it stuck in his head) Oh god, oh god…(feels for her phaser) Damn. (The bathroom door opens and Giles comes out. Not sure she's seeing right she squints at him) R-Rupert?  
  
Giles: (eyes go wide) Kathryn? How did—where did—what—  
  
Janeway: Shhh. I…think I provoked Q into doing it somehow.  
  
Giles: Are you all right? You look a little dizzy.  
  
Janeway: (rolls her eyes skyward in her annoyed-at-Q face) Give me a minute. I'm fine. Just a usual side effect.  
  
Giles: Can I get you anything?  
  
Janeway: Hmm? (Yawns) What time is it? I haven't even slept yet.  
  
Giles: (checks his watch) Oh, it's about 10 in the morning.  
  
Janeway: It's about 3 in the morning for me. I doubt Q will send me back any time soon, if I know him.  
  
Giles: You can take a nap here if you like. Oh, Kathryn, what is that in your hands?  
  
Janeway: (looks down at the bowl) Ah, it's hummus, I was thinking of Oz so I decided to give it a try  
  
Giles: (nose crinkles up in slight disgust) I wouldn't advise that, it tastes terrible. (still trying to take the whole situation in, pretends its perfectly normal) Kathryn, enjoy your nap  
  
Janeway: (flops down, sighs in relief) Thank you, I owe you.  
  
Giles: (tucks her in) Over-working yourself again? (But he gets no response, she's out like a light. He kisses her forehead and leaves her alone.)  
  
(About six hours later, Janeway wakes up and stumbles out, barely aware of her surroundings)  
  
Janeway: Uhmm…?  
  
Giles: It's all right. Remember where you are?  
  
Janeway: (glances around, focuses on him) Oh. Yeah. Oh god, I'm in…what year is this, anyway?  
  
Giles: 2002  
  
Janeway: Some kind of sick joke…I'll get you for this, Q. (muttering to herself)  
  
Giles: So, tell me, Q is your boyfriend, right?  
  
Janeway: Q is not my boyfriend! At the moment I wouldn't touch him with a ten-foot pole.  
  
Giles: He seems to take particular interest in you, from what I've seen.  
  
Janeway: He got bored with his old playthings; I'm just the flavor of the week.  
  
Giles: Confessions of a human Baskin-Robbins.  
  
Janeway: Baskin who?  
  
Giles: Uh, never mind. I'm curious, how long has it been since our last encounter?  
  
Janeway: About a week? Yes, that's right. How about for you?  
  
Giles: It's been almost 2 years. I'd be lying if I said I haven't found myself thinking of you. (There is an awkward silence, a slight trace of romantic tension between them that they're trying to suppress.) I'm sorry, where are my manners? Can I get anything for you?  
  
Janeway: I wouldn't want to impose.  
  
Giles: Oh, not at all.  
  
Janeway: Well, the Doctor gave me explicit instructions to avoid caffeine for an indefinite amount of time since I nearly gave myself a heart attack from an overdose during one of my infamous all-nighters, so I guess coffee's out of the picture.  
  
Giles: I've got decaf  
  
Janeway: (makes a face) Decaf is not coffee, its dirty water.  
  
Giles: Spoken as a true addict. Charming. How about some tea?  
  
Janeway: never touch the stuff usually, but I'll give it a shot. Would you…mind if I used your shower?  
  
Giles: Oh, go right ahead. Make yourself at home. (She hops in and a few minutes later he hears her scream and splutter and finally a loud clunk. He runs in and immediately turns the other way. Blindly holds a towel out to her) All right in there, Kathryn?  
  
Janeway: (stands up and dries off quickly, shivering) Your sh-sh-shower is malfunctioning, it became…cold (shudders violently), then I tried to get out and I slipped!  
  
Giles: You just used all the hot water; it will replenish itself in about a half-hour. I'm sorry, I should have warned you. (Leaves, embarrassed. Not long after she comes back out in his robe, his jaw drops)  
  
Janeway: Hope you don't mind. (Indicates the robe)  
  
Giles: Oh, that's no problem. No…problem at all. (Hands her a cup of tea) I know it's no replacement for your usual fare but…  
  
Janeway: That's perfect, thank you. (Pulls the robe more tightly around her. She sits down and they start their little tea party. Just then Buffy walks in, not even bothering to knock, doesn't even notice Captain Janeway at first)  
  
Buffy: Hey Giles. (Glances over at Janeway and waves, not really processing it yet) So Giles, I was out last night and—(looks back at Janeway, stares) What the—  
  
Janeway: Q. Don't ask, I don't even know. Guess he just felt like playing a prank on someone and it might as well be me. At least I get to be on Earth even if it is the past. (Looks like she has an idea brewing) Which reminds me…(makes a quick dash outside, she kneels on the ground and kisses the earth. A moment or two later she comes back inside and sits back down) Don't ask.  
  
Buffy: Wow, um, sorry but you are the last person I was expecting Giles to be, uh, entertaining. (Notices her attire, or lack of saying)  
  
Giles: Buffy, don't even think about it, its not what it looks like.  
  
Buffy: (nods) Okay, super. I was supposed to meet you here, right? Gloria refresher course, remember?  
  
Giles: Oh yes, of course. You're the only one here, none of the Scoobies are here right?  
  
Buffy: Yeah, but the gang will be here in about an hour. I just was in the neighborhood and thought I'd warn you.  
  
Giles: (looks at his scantily-clad descendant, then back at Buffy) Okay, first things first. Could you perhaps take Miss Janeway to the mall? She needs clothes, take my credit card.  
  
Janeway: (laughs) I haven't been called "Miss" since I don't know when.  
  
Buffy: Uh, sure. I think I can handle a mission like this. (Takes his credit card) She can't go in that, though. I mean, casual Friday, sure, but that's a bit far. Oooh, credit card! What's your limit?  
  
Janeway: I could do a brief cross-dressing number, if that's all right.  
  
Giles: (tallies it up: she's so far slept in his bed, used his shower, used his towel, and is currently wearing his robe. Now she's proposing to roam the streets of Sunnydale in his clothes?) I don't know how well it would fit…  
  
Janeway: I can make do, I'm no slave to fashion, never was. (After a few minutes of playing dress-up, she ends up finding a few things that are relatively flattering)  
  
Buffy: Great, let's go.  
  
Giles: Don't go overboard, this is not a shopping spree.  
  
Buffy: Wouldn't it be better if you went then instead of me? I'm hardly a good advisor for adults when it comes to clothes.  
  
Janeway: She's got a point, Rupert.  
  
Buffy: Great, see you two in an hour. Have fun!  
  
Giles: Um, very well. My car is out here, follow me. (In the garage she stares at his car)  
  
Janeway: (circles it, doing a complete analysis) You fly this thing? Not exactly aerodynamic…no warp nacelles…  
  
Giles: Kathryn, this is an automobile. I'm afraid we aren't flying anywhere.  
  
Janeway: Oh, yes. I forgot. It's…interesting. Tom anything for something with this archaic design  
  
Giles: okay (gets in, she can't get the door open. He reaches over and opens it from inside) Buckle up.  
  
Janeway: I beg your pardon?  
  
Giles: Essentially, you have to strap yourself in. We don't have inertial dampers either.  
  
Janeway: Oh. How…(primitive?) quaint. (Giles starts up the car and she jumps about a foot) Is it supposed to make that noise?  
  
Giles: (smiles over at her, amused by her level of nervousness) Trust me, all right? I'll tell you if there's something to worry about.  
  
Janeway: Sorry, this is my first time in one of these. (They start on their errand; she stares out the car window at just about everything, a bit uncomfortable with the human-only society she's walking into. She'd almost be relieved to see a Romulan or Andorian. Giles notices her with her face practically glued to the window and rolls it down automatically. She gasps, and then sticks her head out for a better view. Once inside the mall she draws a great deal of attention to herself by marveling at everything in sight.) This place is a Ferengi's dreams come true. Look at all this! Incredible. (Giles steers her into a ladies clothing store where she gets two or three new outfits, wondering loudly what the numbers on the tags meant until Giles tried to discreetly as possible explain their monetary system. They wander around afterwards, Janeway getting her first taste of being a mall rat and liking it.) This place is amazing; I don't think I could ever get tired of it.  
  
Giles: It can be a bit overwhelming at first, most people Buffy's age spend their free time here. I'm glad you're enjoying yourself. (Stops when he feels she's not really listening, tries to find where her line of vision is)  
  
Janeway: What's that? (Points to a photo booth)  
  
(Soon the hour has flown by and they each have a strip of miniature black and white photographs of themselves to commemorate the event. Most of them look like usual friendly poses, but one is a candid one of Giles stealing a kiss. Late that night, when they're going back home, Janeway looks out the window and sees a glimpse of blonde hair and a wooden stake)  
  
Janeway: Was that Buffy? Stop the car.  
  
Giles: (stops the car) Yes it was. Our newest enemy, "Gloria", has been keeping her on her toes.  
  
Janeway: "Gloria"?  
  
Giles: Its short for Glorificus. It's an exiled god from another dimension. She's trying to find the key so she can go home. However, if she does, all of the realms of hell will drain into our own world, thus causing another apocalypse.  
  
Janeway: Sounds like someone the Borg Queen would have over for a visit.  
  
Giles: Sorry?  
  
Janeway: Never mind, an old "friend" of mine. So how are your friends doing? I'd like to tell Oz about my encounter with hummus.  
  
Giles: Word of warning Kathryn, don't mention Oz. It's rather a touchy subject.  
  
Janeway: Oh. What happened?  
  
Giles: He's left, enough said there. Last time Willow got on the subject of Oz, I was stricken blind, we were ambushed by an army of demons, and Buffy and Spike thought they were getting married.  
  
Janeway: Oh. Sorry I asked. (They drive the rest of the in silence to the Magic Box)  
  
Giles: Okay, you can get out, this is my store  
  
(Janeway, still not understanding the concept of the door, has difficulty finding out how to open the door. she looks down to see the door handle, and thinking it is the emergency hatch lever, she pulls as hard possible, in the process pulling it off. She waves it at the window for Giles to see. Then Giles walks over to Janeway's side of the car and, like the English gentleman he is, opens the door for her)  
  
Janeway: Thank you Rupert, the opening sensors must be on the fritz too. (Hands him the handle) I'd have the emergency handle checked out, too, if I were you.  
  
(Giles and Janeway make there way into the Magic Box to hear Anya and Xander arguing at the counter.)  
  
Xander: You're not supposed to tell the customers to get lost after taking the their money. You say, "Have a nice day".  
  
Anya: But I already have their money, I don't care how their day is  
  
Xander: (shakes his head in frustration because this is the fortieth time he has explained it today) Just say it for me okay  
  
Anya: Okay I'll say it (Anya looks up to see Giles stand by the door with some women) Hello, Giles; who is your friend?  
  
Xander: Hey, Giles is back. (Still looking down at the counter) So, have you found a solution to the hell-god problem? (Xander looks up to see Giles stand there with a woman) Captain Janeway, is that you? Are you here for a kiss session with Giles? (Puckers up with a death wish)  
  
Janeway: No, I am here because of Q, and can we leave that in the past…future…whatever. Can we just forget it? Giles, is this girl one of the Scoobies?  
  
Giles: Yes, Anya is an ex-vengeance demon who is getting used to being human again  
  
A customer enters the store, and walks up to the counter)  
  
Customer: Do you guy carry Orbs of Aphrodite?  
  
Anya: Yes we do (she goes to the back of the store and grabs the orb, hands it to customer) that will be $19.95  
  
Customer: thank you so much I have been looking for this all over town. (He hands her the money)  
  
Anya: Okay, I don't care, get lost, I have your money  
  
Xander: Anya, honey, what did I just tell you?  
  
Anya: Oh sorry (she screams as the customer is leaving) I HAVE TO TELL YOU TO HAVE A NICE DAY EVEN THROUGH I REALLY DON'T CARE. OH AND PLEASE COME AGAIN WITH MORE MONEY (at this point the customer has gone screaming out of the store)  
  
Xander: See, now wasn't that easy? And this time they didn't leave in tears. Here I have a special treat for you (he pulls out a plush pink stuffed bunny rabbit)  
  
Anya: It's a bunny!!! No!!! (Runs in terror from behind the counter and hides behind Giles and peeks out from behind his shoulder) Giles, we have to get Buffy, Xander has monster so kill it, kiiilll it!!! (She whines)  
  
Janeway: it's just a stuffed animal  
  
Giles: Look, Anya, Kathryn isn't afraid of it. It won't hurt you.  
  
Xander: (realizes that she is fighting back tears, so he walks out from behind the counter to comfort her) Anya it is okay don't cry, here watch this (he shows her the stuffed animal, we can hear her whimpering in the background. Then Xander pulls the off the stuffed bunny's head) See? Everything is okay.  
  
Anya: (runs out from behind Giles and wraps her arms around Xander's neck)  
  
My hero!  
  
Xander: Oh Anya, you never need to worry, I'll always protect you from bunnies because I love you.  
  
Anya: just for that let's go have lots of sex in your parent's basement.  
  
Janeway: wow that was weird. But Rupert, didn't Xander start all this?  
  
Dawn: (enters the store) Are Willow or Tara here? I need their help to give someone at school warts  
  
Xander: They're not here, sorry  
  
Dawn: (notices Janeway) Hey, what are you? Giles' newest doomed girlfriend or something?  
  
Janeway: No, I am not! It so happens I am from the future, and I'm a straight-line descendant of his. Drop it or you'll be sorry! (Gives everyone her look. They all back away slightly) Oh Xander, not a word. So who are you?  
  
Dawn: I am Buffy's little sister.  
  
(Janeway glances at Giles)  
  
Janeway: I thought you said that Buffy was an only child.  
  
Dawn: Fine! Rub it in! Orbs of light don't have any feelings because they are nothingness! (Dawn runs from the store crying and accidentally floors Buffy and is gone)  
  
Buffy: What was that all about?  
  
Xander: Captain Janeway asked if you were an only child.  
  
Buffy: You said what?! It took Giles and myself three weeks for us to get Dawn over the fact that she really didn't exist and was the Key. Next thing you know you'll say the O word. Xander, what time is it?  
  
Xander: It is about two- thirty  
  
Buffy: Okay, I'll be at Spike's to try to fix this  
  
Anya: Why are you going to Spike's?  
  
Buffy: He and Dawn are addicted to "Passions", they watch it every day together.  
  
(Later that evening after clearing up the whole Dawn thing we see Buffy on patrol in the Sunnydale with Captain Janeway tagging along to watch)  
  
Buffy: Just stay close and don't make too much noise.  
  
Janeway: (whispers) This is like the last time we lead an offensive against the Borg, the Queen has me on her permanent hit list now.  
  
Buffy: (a demon jumps out from behind the bushes) Back! Back! Out of the way! (shoves Janeway to the side and gets out her little axe. Another comes out right behind Janeway and they both struggle. Buffy quickly decapitates her demon and watches Janeway neatly dispose of hers with a few quick and strategic jabs. It drops to the ground and turns to dust) Wow, nice job. For a beginner.  
  
Janeway: That's high praise coming from you, I take it. (pants, a bit winded) I'm sure you got about, what?, thirty on your first night out.  
  
Buffy: (looks embarrassed) Well, that's not exactly what happened. When Merrick—my first Watcher--first took me out I kinda missed the heart and got him in the leg. Didn't do too much damage there.  
  
Janeway: So how did Rupert get to be your Watcher?  
  
Buffy: Merrick, uh, he died (looks shaken up) It was my fault. Lothos, my first Master Vampire I had to fight, killed him.  
  
Janeway: Oh. I'm sorry. Were you close?  
  
Buffy: (nods) Yeah. But then I got transferred here, and got Giles. He's great, he really is, he's almost like he's my father, but I still think of Merrick sometimes.  
  
Janeway: In future, I had someone on Earth like that, I was supposed to be married to this man, he seemed so right…but he thought I was dead and…I can't really blame him for marrying that…little…tramp (snaps her stake in half)  
  
Buffy: Whoa, easy there! Cool it.  
  
Janeway: Sorry, this wasn't your lucky stake, was it?  
  
Buffy: No, thankfully, that was just a spare.  
  
Janeway: Anyway, he's out of the picture and…when you and Rupert first came it was almost like he was…(stops herself from getting misty) Well, that's that.  
  
Buffy: I'm sure there is someone in the future that will be perfect for you captain.  
  
Janeway: Sometimes I wonder, do you have a special man in your life?  
  
Buffy: (looks a bit uncomfortable) Yes, at one time there was a man that I love passionately. However, no matter how much Angel and I love each other we can never be anything more than friends. We found that out the hard way.(we can see that Buffy is emotional moved think about Angel and the way they were before he left for Los Angeles)  
  
Janeway: Seems we superheroes never have any luck with love do we.(laughs)  
  
(Buffy is still caught up in her memories of Angel and the past. She walks over to a stone bench in the cemetery, sits down and starts crying heavily into her hands) I am sorry, I don't mean to make you cry, it seems that today I'm upsetting just about everyone. (walks over and sits down beside Buffy and places a motherly arm around her) you're still in love with Angel aren't you?  
  
Buffy: No, I am not crying over Angel. I crying because my mother just died and I still haven't had the time to mourn yet.  
  
Janeway: I understand. I lost my father when I was eleven so I realize how painful it is to lose a parent.  
  
Buffy: (looks up at Janeway, tears still in her eyes) It's also because I don't think I'll win this time. Gloria is a god. She is too strong and we haven't even found a weak point yet. More importantly, if I lost this battle Dawn dies--my sister dies. I can't let that happen. I am the slayer, it is my job to save the world. Besides, I promised my mother that I would protect Dawn. I don't even care about the world this time; I just don't want my sister to die.  
  
Janeway: You'll win, Buffy, trust me; I'm from the future. But for now just let the tears out it will be good for you.  
  
Buffy: No, not this time, Kathryn. I can feel it in my bones.Besides when I what congered the first slayer she told me the my gift was DEATH.So I have a feeling that the only thing that I can offer the people around me is death and misery I don't think I'll win.  
  
(begins to cry harder, she collapses off the bench and she just sits on the ground as if frozen. What Buffy doesn't see is that there is a vampire is approaching her)  
  
Janeway: Buffy! (without even look Buffy slays the vampire) How…? Good shot!  
  
Buffy: My spidey sense was tingling (by this time Buffy has regained her composer) I have spent too much time crying. Let's head back to the Magic Box.  
  
Janeway: All right (finds herself pitying Buffy because from a young age she has been told that she is to defend the world. That is a lot of responsibility for anyone, let alone a single person. Even the Federation has reinforcements to help to maintain peace in the Alpha Quadrant. But this girl, no matter how much information Rupert gives her she must fight the battle alone.)  
  
Buffy: Are you coming? Oh, and Kathryn please don't tell anyone about what just happened, please.  
  
Janeway: (as they're walking to the Magic Box) Don't worry about it. I know how you feel.  
  
Buffy: You do? (in wonderment because Janeway is the first person that has ever said they understand what she is going through and meant it) How could you?  
  
Janeway: Well, on Voyager we are on a continual journey to return to home, but sometimes I think of all the crewmembers that have died along the way and I can't help but wonder how many more we'll lose before we get home. But I can't even show that I think about things like this because I'm their Captain, and I have to uphold an illusion of being superhuman and invincible. They need something to believe in out there, and I'm all they have. (looks a little self-conscious) I've never told this to anyone before.  
  
Buffy: Don't worry, your secret's safe. I understand sometimes it can be hard to play to part of the leader . (another vampire pops out at them, growling, Janeway gives him a round-house kick, knocking him down and she stakes him in one fluid motion) Wow, you're really good at this.  
  
Janeway: Thanks, I've had lots of practice back on Voyager. (they go inside the Magic Box and make themselves at home)  
  
Giles: You're back, how did it go?  
  
Janeway: Apparently I'm a natural. Buffy and I had a great time.  
  
Giles: (comes out from behind the counter and gives Janeway a hug) What can I say? I'm proud of you. (kisses her forehead)  
  
Buffy: Hey, ew! Reality check here people.  
  
Xander: Aw, come on, Buffy. There's nothing wrong with a little familiar affection.  
  
Buffy: Yeah, well, if they start playing tonsil-hockey I'm turning a fire hose on them.  
  
Xander: Well at least it not a bad as have the First slayer trying to kill you in your dreams. And have some man in the dreams who is obsessd with cheese waving them at you, and then have that same cheese man tell you that the cheese won't help and that he wear the cheese and that the cheese doesn't wear him.(shudders at the memories of the Man With Cheese.)  
  
Buffy: You're right, that Cheese Man was creepy.(all of the Scoobies hear Xander's ranting about the Man With Cheese and they all, including Giles, shudder at the idea of the Man With Cheese)  
  
Giles: So Buffy how was it out and about in the cemetary tonight?  
  
Buffy: Just couple of Glory's henchman and I slayed one vampire. It was a pretty slow night.  
  
Janeway: Do you mind if I ask you a personal question Rupert?  
  
Giles: Go right ahead, I don't mind.  
  
Janeway: I know this may upset timeline, but could you show me a picture of your wife?  
  
Buffy: Wife? Giles isn't married  
  
Janeway: But I did my math after you left. He should have been married as well as had his first child for me to exist.  
  
Xander: GILES, YOU HAVE A KID?? HOW? WHAT? WHEN? WHO?  
  
Willow: Are you leading a secret life as a super spy like James Bond? Is your code name like "Ripper 002"?  
  
Dawn: No, its a groupie who thinks that you are the newest stud to join N*SYNC! Does she have Giles posters hanging all over her room?(Dawn said all of this trying not to laugh at Giles) right?  
  
Buffy: Was it that female watcher that I caught you with?  
  
Giles: No it is no one you have listed  
  
Scoobies in unison: Tell us, come on! Tell us who it was! (the scoobies sound like a set of children asking "are we there yet?")  
  
Giles: (yells) Enough! It was when I was under the spell of that candy that made everyone act like a teenager!  
  
Buffy: But who was it?  
  
Giles: Let's just say you knew her very well  
  
Janeway: Buffy, if you know her then who was it?  
  
Buffy: (thinks for a moment, trying to think of who Giles was with during the candy incident) No, no, and no again! I know who I found you with and No! (with one more "No" Buffy puts her fist though the counter) No!  
  
Giles: (looks guilty) Yes, Buffy, it was Joyce. But we decide it would be best to the little girl up for adoption.  
  
Buffy: But I would have noticed her getting bigger!  
  
Giles: Well Joyce gave birth before you came back after from running away that one time.  
  
Spike: (waltzes in like he owns the place, having overheard most of the conversation from outside) Good choice, Rupert old boy. I have always liked Joyce, she was nice to me and all. She even helped me when Dru had left me for that chaos demon.  
  
Xander: Shut up, Spike or I'll your ass.  
  
Spike: How do you know that Giles didn't shag your old lady too, if you remember all of the old folks ate the candy.  
  
Xander: (worried) Gile did you?  
  
Giles: No, I don't believe so. I am pretty sure that it was just Joyce  
  
Xander: (sigh of relief, does not want that image in his head) Good  
  
Spike: (walks up behind Buffy and places an arm around her) I bet this make the whole Buffy-bot thing look like nothing, right?  
  
Buffy: No, Spike, it doesn't make the Buffy-bot thing any better. You still made a robot of me and did the unthinkable to it (she slaps Spike's arm away). Oh and Kathryn do you still what to see what your great grandmother looks like (multiply the "great" by maybe 20 or more)  
  
Janeway: Yes, I would.  
  
Buffy: (reaches into her inside jacket pocket a produce the picture of her mother that she always carries with her, now that she has passed away. It comforts Buffy to have Joyce close to her heart) She actually kind of looks like you. Oh, Giles, by the way, what did you name the little girl anyway?  
  
Giles: We decided on Gretchen  
  
Janeway: (looks surprised) that's my mother's name.  
  
Giles: It must run in the family. But enough with this, we need to get you back to your ship before it effect your timeline somehow. Willow, have you and Tara thought of a spell yet?  
  
Willow: Yes, its pretty simple. We just need lemon and peppermint tea with some Herbs of Chronos.  
  
Janeway: Has Willow gotten better? I wouldn't wish to end up the 38th century  
  
Giles: No, Willow as grown into an exceptionall young witch. I think you can trust her. Willow does Kathryn need to say anything before she leaves?  
  
Willow: Yes, she has to say what year she wishes to go to and where exactly she wants to end up. (hands her the cup of tea)  
  
Buffy: Get over here and give your Auntie a hug before you leave. I know there was a reason you could take those vamps out so easy--you got slayer blood in you!  
  
Janeway: (whispers in to her ear) You said that the first slayer told you gift is death, maybe it means something more than just death. I'll miss you Buffy and good luck  
  
Buffy: Thank you Kathryn, now let's all clear out and give her and Giles some time alone.  
  
(the scoobies go to the back room the of the store so Giles can say goodbye without any comment from the peanut gallery)  
  
  
  
(Giles gives her the cup of tea to send Janeway home; she looks on with an expression of regret)  
  
Giles: Something on your mind?  
  
Janeway: (smiles musingly) Sorry, I was just thinking…I'll miss this. Back there I have to be this larger than life figure for my crew, but none of them know that somewhere deep inside me I dream of something…warm and romantic…to have someone to come home to at the end of the day (she ends in a whisper, her voice near breaking) I wished it…could have been you. Fate can be cruel, can't it?  
  
Giles: Yes, it can. I'll miss you, too. (She stands and presses herself into his arms. He holds her briefly but when she squeezes him into a longing lovers' embrace he pushes her gently away) No, don't. You'll only hurt yourself. I know what its like to be lonely, but we can't. You know that, it's wrong.  
  
Janeway: (sits back down, holding back tears) I know, Rupert. I know I shouldn't feel this way, we're directly related and all, but…oh I've never felt so in love. I wish I wasn't, and I know that if it were more permitted it would feel wonderful, but it just feels like something's amiss. I try to stop myself, I'm really trying, and it's just so hard.  
  
Giles: (sits beside her, puts his arm around her) I understand. I'm fighting the same battle with myself, but we'll get over it. (Puts a finger over her lips) I wish we didn't have to, I wish things were different too, but I can't change it. I love you, Kathryn, but we have to do our best to..., well, you know.  
  
Janeway: I know. (Looks at him, then she tears herself away from him, to the other side of the room) I can't stay, please hurry and get this over with.  
  
Giles: I know, the sooner it's done, the sooner we'll all be better off. There. Now close your eyes. (hugs her again and slips a couple of 20's in her back pocket at the same time) Drink up.  
  
(The next thing Janeway sees is Voyager's bridge. Everyone looks mildly surprised to see her appear, she looks around and gives her First Officer a nod of assurance before taking her seat)  
  
(Meanwhile in Sunnydale, Giles still stares at the place that Kathryn was just standing on; he finally shakes himself out of the trance he'd gone into and walks away. The next day Buffy and Willow come over.)  
  
Buffy: Hey, Giles. How did it go? She's not here is she?  
  
Giles: No, she's gone. She looked so sad.  
  
Willow: I don't get it, she knew you were her ancestor of times ancient, but the way she reached out to you implied she wanted more than a father figure.  
  
Giles: Well, she hasn't allowed herself to have romantic feelings while she's on her ship; she's done a remarkable job of suppressing them from what it sounds like. I guess the fact that we got along so well our first couple of days together, paired with me not being her subordinate, was enough to give her the go-ahead to let herself feel that way.  
  
Buffy: Yeah, she told me, poor Kathryn. I hope she finds someone. She's strong but she needs to be loved as much as the rest of us. Of all the men to pop into her life it had to be someone who was related.  
  
Giles: That about sums it up, Buffy, yes.  
  
Willow: You liked her back, I could tell.  
  
Giles: How very perceptive. Yes, she will be missed, but this is all for the better that we get on with our own different lives.  
  
(Back on Voyager, Janeway is poking around in her ready room, trying to act as though nothing had happened. Lieutenant Torres enters with a status report from Engineering and notices her commanding officer looking a bit blue)  
  
Torres: Excuse me for asking, Captain, but are you all right?  
  
Janeway: No. But I will be again soon hopefully.  
  
Torres: He sent you to that Giles character's place and time, didn't he? (Janeway nods) That rat!  
  
Janeway: No, I'm glad he sent me. I wish I hadn't been so high-strung though.  
  
Torres: What happened?  
  
Janeway: It would be hard for someone so young to understand, but Rupert made me feel a way I haven't felt in ages.  
  
Torres: (smiles, sure she understands by imagining how Tom can make her feel) Like a goddess? A beauty queen?  
  
Janeway: (smiles, shakes her head) Like a woman. (Sighs) a real woman. That's what I was to him. (Dreamy expression like it would be the sweetest compliment she can imagine)  
  
Torres: I see. (Changes the subject) So aside from all that did you have a good time?  
  
Janeway: I did. I bought clothes in a mall, with real money…I got my photograph taken (tilts a new picture frame out towards her Chief Engineer, which holds their pictures they got at the mall, as well as a $20 bill he'd planted on her), I rode in his automobile, I even killed two vampires while patrolling with Buffy!  
  
Torres: Wow, sounds like you had fun. Bet Tom would've given anything to go along.  
  
Janeway: (laughs) I'm sure he would have, too. (Sly look) Tell him to try hummus. Oh that reminds me. Giles gave me this. (She pull the other twenty dollar bill out of her pocket) B'elanna, give this to Tom, I think he'll like it. I believe it's what they called money back then.  
  
  
  
Fin 


End file.
